Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Ministry of Plenty

I went today to the Ministry of Plenty aka Ikea Store. It was double plus good. My furniture rations were increased by ten percent so I decided to get another desk and chair for my home office. I had to return something from my previous visit so I took a number and waited with my comrades for my turn to come up. Everyone was pleased that the average wait time has been reduced for the seventh consecutive quarter. It took me only twenty-five minutes to see someone who then gave me my credits so that I could spend it upstairs.

Of course I had to wait in line for someone to print out my desk requisition. They were out of stock - something about a storeship from Eastasia having sunk on its journey across the sea. With paper in hand, I proceeded to another line where my chair requisition could be printed. I was only goodthinkful as I walked about a kilometre to the warehouse where I dutifully sought out and secured my disassembled bookshelves and then proceeded to the register lines which, I swear my brother were only about twenty deep. A mere thirty-five minutes later I was able to pay with my ration credits and proceed to the prolefeed section aka the cinnamon bun line where I was able to replenish my strength for what was yet to come. Super plus tasty!

Another half kilometre and I was positioned in the final queue. I saw only happy faces amongst my comrades and was able to avoid all thoughtcrime during the last twenty minutes before my chair arrived. I swam through the crowds to find my vehicle and was able to load and drive away without incident.

I sit on my new chair as I write this, my desk on its way from Eastasia, and my bookshelves on the floor in their boxes because they didn't include the screws needed to mount them to the wall. Still, my brother I am thankful for the Ikea Ministry of Plenty for in what other way could we ever imagine buying furniture.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Speaking of IKEA, they do make realy practical furniture...