Suspicious Minds

My friend Robin who's doing great work over there at the Institute of Higher Purpose tagged me with this task. Start every sentence with "I am suspicious..." go.

I am suspicious of viral blog tagging.
I am suspicious of raccoons because I think they're planning something big.
I am suspicious of squirrels who know what those guys are up to but won't tell us.
I am suspicious that I found in a restroom 12 different types of loose toilet paper rolls in 12 different sizes.
I am suspicious that there's always a different man smoking and hanging his head out of my neighbour's window.
I am suspicious of my other neighbour who in the back laneway always seems to be having an argument with an unseen foe.
I am suspicious when someone says they have the answer.
I am suspicious of suspicion.
I am suspicious why time travelers from the future haven't revealed themselves to us.
I am suspicious of unseen forces that hold together the nucleus of an atom.
I am suspicious when a pretty young girl talks to me on the street, even with my early middle-aged good looks.
I am suspicious why someone hasn't yet come out and said "Yo, you've been punked, now here's your real life."
I am suspicious..... not.

I won't tag anyone directly but consider yourself served.